By Neil Z. Miller
By Neil Z. Miller
I wish to begin my story with a show of appreciation. It has been a very long time since I have been able to communicate in this manner. Now that the opportunity once again presents itself, I find I am nearly overwhelmed with gratitude and joy.
My story begins before the wheels of time were set on course. Thought was just a concept in the mind of God, and God was new to His role as the Lord. Even He was searching for ways to understand the mystery of His own Being.
No one knows exactly how we came to be, but all of a sudden we found ourselves in living form. At first we weren't able to differentiate our bodies from our mind. Later, we were taught a way in which to separate the two. This occurred slowly at first, thus allowing us to assimilate the fruits of something new.
Even then, many rebelled at what they felt were unnatural ways. Few, if any, truly believed the journey home would be so difficult. We did not know this was the Way. We only sensed our own rejection.
There came a time when some of us advanced in form. We thought this was the way back home. We gathered about us the necessary materials thus enabling us to create in ways yet conceived. Then we thought ourselves into these bodies. All the while, He stood by watching and waiting.
Some of us created laws unto ourselves. We thought we were the God our Father, and not His children, and sought to circumscribe His laws with our very own. We disassociated ourselves from our Source, believing we embodied who He was. All the while, He stood by watching and waiting.
Eventually, I believe, He sought to order His own Being. This, of course, included All. He called us each back unto Himself, leaving no one to cry in despair. I recall this period of time. No one could resist His force. Body and mind were ONE once again.
Within His womb I yearned to stay. His love was great. So it came as a shock when we were again turned away. We were told to dispel of all that was false. But He did not say how. This, He left to us.
It was at this time that I chose to work with Him. I believed then, as I do now, that the Law of One was greater than the illusion of many. I sought to actualize His purpose and fought to maintain His integrity. I would dispel of all that was false.
At this time consciousness was losing its omnipresent awareness, yet gaining in its ability to focalize purpose. Some understandings and many worlds were closing to view. In its stead there occurred an awakening of the faculties designed to discriminiate between one form and another. Many mansions came to be.
As consciousness continued along its course of evolution, the sons of God soon found that they were able to direct the yearnings that they knew. In this way they were able to gravitate to one or another of His worlds. And, as they began to identify with the type and quality of space they chose, they found themselves developing faculties suitable to that world.
There came a time when aspects of the Lord of One occupied and filled every region of every world. The sons of God were stars of light, each shining in ways unique. And He was pleased, for infinite experiences were His to know.As the growth and development of every soul occurred in time, some were found to be lacking in skills gained on other worlds. Others were quickly learning in ways unknown. Soon it became apparent that Masters were emerging -- those who had completed their lessons in worlds of their choice. New horizons were quickly sought.
Often, however, these Masters found they were able to continue with their growth by remaining behind to teach. Others who migrated to their world were ignorant of the subtle requirements it imposed. They would need great teachers to pave the way. Later, when they become Masters of this world, they may wish to replace the Teacher, thus freeing Him to move on.
The world that I initially migrated to consisted of little more than light. Of course that was all I needed in order to begin my lessons. The reason I was drawn to this particular segment of space had much to do with the development of strength. I didn't know why, but I felt compelled to independently seek out the nature of my Being.
So strength was the quality I sought to experience, and strength was the gift I eventually gained. Understand, though, that my particular segment of space was really no different than any other. I merely created it to be what I thought would lead me home. And as separation, to me, was false, and as I wished to dispel of everything not true, I especially sought strength in unity. This, to me, was the Way and the Truth.
Later, when others came to seek out the fruits of my world, I tried my best to teach them what I knew. But some of them, as a result of their own seeking, found strength in separation to be the Way and Truth. This created vast differences in the way we perceived God.
Also, when I was eventually freed from my self-imposed duties as Master of my world, I found just as many Ways and Truths as there were aspects of the Lord. It was then that I learned of His True Purpose. But I will save those adventures for later.
So upon my world I found many would come to learn what I had to offer. But, to my dismay, everyone could be categorized as either seeking strength in unity, or strength in separation. Some merely wished to understand His Laws in order to once again be at One with Him. Others were interested in gaining power to increase the illusion of individualized meaning.
Soon I realized I had to order my knowledge in ways conducive to the understanding and acceptance of my people. Many looked upon me as a diety of sorts. Others spat upon my name, seeking to destroy all that I would build. Factions were created, severing bonds that once existed. War ensued and people died.
Death, however, was unlike the kind you know today. Then, it was experienced as a relinquishment of one's hold on truth. It was certainly more symbolic than real. But I learned something throughout this process, for even those of my people who sought strength in unity, died. It was then that I realized both were aspects of the One.
Today you understand this principle as the law of survival. The separate self is driven to exist. Sometimes, though, it may be seen to operate in what can be termed the "herd instinct." A family, then, embodies All -- the Law of One, or strength in unity, in addition to the illusion of many, or the principle of separation. Think about this.
Following the death of my many members, an amalgamation of sorts appeared to occur. A separation connotation was shared by all, in addition to a yearning to meld. Survival was construed as a basic necessity as the urge to unite was transcendental in nature. The spiritual and material were thus conceived.
Really, though, when He established many mansions, they were seen as different from the Source. Consciousness was either positive or negative, active or receptive, the former the mind, the latter the form. And, although many good arguments could be made in support of this division, the fact of the matter remains that All is One. The material is the spiritual and vice-versa.
As a Teacher, I at first confused my role with God. I experienced feelings of exaltation and even had bouts with self-glorifying tendencies. I began to believe that I was the Lord of the world. The fact of the matter is that I was truly Lord -- Lord of myself and my own little world.
It was then that I knew a Master is false. How could one be the Lord of the World when everyone else was also a master at heart? Mastery, then, is a process of growth. When my lessons were completed on the world that I knew, I would be the Lord of my world, but that was all. I would still have to rely upon others in order to continue with my growth.
I learned many things in the short span of time since being set free. Eventually, however, I required His aid. I sought with my heart to know of His Plan. I could no longer be satisfied simply leading my people. Some of them knew as much as I did, and so were qualified to replace my vacancy. I was leaving in search of Truth.
I traveled for many days and nights, as measured by the twists and turns of cosmic motion. I passed by numerous clusters of space before settling upon an extremely dense manifestation of light. The organisms of this world were ignorant to my presence even though I was aware of theirs. Thus I was able to observe them in their search for meaning without interfering in the creative process.
One of the first things I noticed was that everything was given a name. This was how some organisms identified with their belongings. And yes, they did believe they "owned" this and that. Not one aspect of His divinity was left to simply be. Everything was gathered about and "possessed." Another thing I noticed about this world was that everyone believed that only they held the truth. Their world was so dense, it kept them from even perceiving of other realities. I was glad I had already experienced that illusion. Thus I knew they would eventually learn the Truth. But that didn't help me in my quest. I was still seeking out the full nature of my Being; I doubted that it would be found here.
Projecting my consciousness even deeper into the throes of space, I found myself losing touch with my sense of identity. I lost my mind (or so I thought) only to awaken within the limitations of form. My body was so thick that I could feel it in a sensory way. It was not just perceived, the way in which I was accustomed to knowing it. I was fearful for my life. Up until I had this experience I was not aware of life as form. Or, I had forgotten. Now I was confronted with the reality of my identification with a concrete aspect of life, believing it was the whole of my being. Consciousness, or so I thought, was the direct result of physical interaction. Sensory deprivation was as good as death.
My fears increased throughout time and did not wane as I would have supposed, partly, I believe, due to the lack of support I felt and so very much needed. I wanted to be reassured that I was okay. I needed to know that this world was designed in this manner to teach very difficult lessons. I wanted to love and be loved, but no one seemed to care. Then, after many lives on this world, I was approached by one who called himself Lord of this world. He claimed to be a friend and that he wished to help. And although I was, by this time, beginning to learn how to operate within my body, I was anxious for any kind of aid I could receive. He told me I had fallen into a state of awareness that would not allow me to perceive my own divinity. He claimed I was Lord, the One who chose my destined course. All I had to do was choose again, and I would be free. I wanted to be free, God knows I did. But how could this occur just by choosing again? And what did He mean by telling me I was Lord?
I pondered these enigmas for many revolutions of celestial bodies only to happen upon a very beautiful woman. She resembled the memory I held of my very own soul. We decided to join forces, she and I as a team. We experienced great unity in our search for the One. The illusion was great.
After devoting numerous revolutions to the mastery of this plane, I found I could choose the course of my growth. I wasn't my form, though it appeared that I was. And I wasn't my mind, though I was sure this was true. I was both and yet more, experiencing just another of His worlds in my effort to regain meaning.
When I left this world, I was glad to have had the opportunity to gain so much knowledge, but I was still not satisfied. I knew that meaning had to exist both within and without of His awareness. But I did not know how to express this. Thus I decided to make good and evil the nature of my goal. I chose a section of space denser than my own requirements, one I would not need to re-experience. In this way I could interpenetrate that world without upsetting the established balance. But, as a part of my plan, I would pervade the entire contents of that form, including the occupants thereupon. In this way I could influence them without their knowledge.
I chose a world similar to the one I previously experienced, the one I described as possessive in nature. In this way, I figured, they would be susceptible to my suggestions, for they would be easily swayed at any hint of gaining things. I also had the distinct advantage of knowing they were equally influenced by heavily impacted sensation. In other words, the fear of pain and the lust for pleasure would also act on my behalf.
Having defined my purpose, I went forth and entered the mass consciousness of the people. I told them I was Lord of the world, He that creates and He that destroys. I sought obedience to my will, offering goods and pleasure in exchange. Initially, many refused my advances, a few even re-proclaimed their allegiance to God. Despite their faults, they knew that I was trying to deceive them. Others were quick to respond to my influence. They believed I was God, Lord of the world. For years this went on, creating faction upon faction. The "righteous" waged war upon those who believed. The deceived became weary of defending their beliefs. Many were killed as He remained silent.
The meaning I gained from posing as God served to refresh my memory of Truth. The fearless and fearful are One and the same. How can anyone say the other is wrong? In assessing the matter I grow weary in strength. Why did He not come to their aid?
When I pondered the meaning that my own life had, I realized it came from millions upon millions of growing experiences. Its "meaning," therefore, may not be an accurate account of objective reality. Our subjective awareness conditions our perceptions of who we believe that we are. An objective Truth may or may not exist. I had to find out.
My next adventure occurred in a realm devoid of true time. Motion was felt, though it couldn't be seen. Growth could be measured, or so I was told, but I didn't know how. A thought was merely a thought. I petitioned the Lord, seeking answers to my questions, but He was silent. I was alone in my thoughts. Then it dawned on me that Mind was the form the Creator had taken. Form was the Mind the Creator had given. Time was the passage of growth in a way. And growth was the way in which time would be known. It's that simple, or complex.
Until I was able to monitor my thoughts, choosing which to accept and which to reject, I was subject to the pull of each. Fearful thoughts suspended animation, causing time and growth to come to a halt. Joyous thoughts had the opposite effect, quickening time and stimulating growth. Thus, I reasoned, God is joy and joy is speed, Godspeed bliss itself. From that time on I tried to think my thoughts quicker than I'd ever done. Perhaps I had to think them all before I could return to Him. Or, maybe speed itself, appearing to cause motion, held a clue. I didn't know, but had to find out.
Once, I thought a thought where someone else was thinking about me. Then I wondered which was real. Who was thinking of whom? I believed that I was thinking all my thoughts. But maybe the other was thinking me. If this was true, then I was false, or at least not as true as some greater truth. Reality, then, seemed to be subject to one's point of view. If I believed that I was real then that was true, even if it really wasn't. If I believed that I was false, then that was also true. Both perspectives are correct. What a tremendous realization. Truth is truth and false is truth -- a paradox. I remained within the throes of this conundrum for several more revolutions of celestial bodies. I really don't know how long it was. But, if growth is any measurement of time, I matured in very real ways.
I never fully grasped time, though I thought it would be easier to measure if it was able to be seen. Motion, I sensed, is a cognitive trick. If illusions are real and God but a thought, time is eternal. Yet it only occurs Now and may not exist. The thought that God was but a thought ignited fear in my body. That was before I realized that thoughts are aspects of Mind, and Mind of God, forever. If you don't quite comprehend, give it time, for growth is thus assured.
I left this world to explore uncharted territory. God was not a concept, though I was inclined to think that He was. He was not a feeling, though I felt His Presence. And He surely wasn't form, though I saw Him in my dreams.
The next realm that I chose to explore simulates what you might term the affective or vital world. Ethereal beings lacking clarified bounds existed here. Even the surroundings they chose defied definition. What initially drew me to this region can best be described as a desire of sorts. I later learned that desire is simply qualified yearning. Directed, it can lead us to truth; undirected, it can cause unwelcome pain. So my desires lead me to explore my dreams, for this realm appeared to embody my thoughts. Supernal figures danced in the fields as captivating dream-thoughts held my attention. Amazingly, I was in the center of it all. In fact, I was all. In some odd way this realm was designed to manifest my essence. Like aspects of a dream that are the dreamer himself, these colorful entities were thoughts of my own. Instantly, I found myself on display:
(To be continued...)
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